Danielle Hatfield

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Growing Into Our Own Authentic Self

November 12, 2011 By Danielle Hatfield 1 Comment

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Our deepest calling is to grow into our own authentic self-hood, whether or not it conforms to some image of who we ought to be.
As we do so, we will not only find the joy that every human being seeks — we will also find our path of authentic service in the world.
– Parker J. Palmer

I read this quote, that was posted by a friend, @AceConcierge a while back.

It really resonated with me and the timing couldn’t have been more perfect.

My husband and I were talking last night about being true to ourselves and what that meant. Because “being true to you” is different for everyone – and often times, the boundaries you set, and the level of honesty you choose to use in each relationship can be viewed differently by each person involved.

What I consider “being true to me” and the radical honesty I try to live by each day . . . offends, appalls and angers many people and to others well, they find it refreshing from the half truths and double sided conversations that plague most interactions. I don’t want to hold grudges, stew over a slight or not tell someone exactly how I feel. I personally want authentic relationships, not superficial interactions with morally vacuous zombies.

Before Brandon, my husband, asked me to marry him – I told him that I wanted us to have complete honesty in our relationship. I expect him to call me out on something that I may say or do in a tactful and private way (and he does) and I do the same for him. And you know what? It’s the best damn relationship I have ever had in my life. This “tell it like it is” approach is the foundation of my marriage.

Over the last few years I have been living by this mindset. . .

If you’re unhappy about something – tell the person/people that are involved. They can’t fix it, apologize, make amends or make it right if you don’t TELL THEM. Gossiping, lying to them when they ask for feedback and saying that everything is okay when it’s not – will not fix what ever is wrong.

Holding onto the anger of feeling victimized or slighted is like holding onto a hot coal – the only person it hurts is you. If you don’t want to tell the person/people who have hurt you (maybe they have passed on) write out your feelings on paper – then burn it. Let these past poisons go and make room in your life for the amazing experiences and people you deserve.

Remember that as you make the journey to your authentic self don’t get distracted by those who *think they know you. There are people that may assume that your are this way or that, without investing the time it takes to really get to know you. Don’t chase after approval or relationships with people who are emotionally handicapped by their own insecurities. . . these relationships are toxic and could literally make you sick. Don’t be baited by the “country club compliment” either . . . once you get slapped by that razor sharp remark in a white lace glove. . . walk away from these people and don’t look back.

If you want to discover true happiness, focus your time and attention on those people who share in your successes. Your life will turn around when the tribe you surround yourself with accepts you as you are, helps you become a better person without tearing you down, who makes you laugh and who, above all, shares good news instead of gossip.

It’s foolish to say that I haven’t learned from the negative people who have come and gone in my life over the years. Those who chose to base their opinion of me from gossip verses their own personal interactions with me, those who chose to shun a friendship to be part of the “click” – those who tried to convince me that I was wrong for standing up for what I knew was right . . . the person who disappointed me the most was busy tearing other people down to feel important. I truly believe that each encounter we have with poisonous people, affords us an opportunity to reflect on past experiences and draw upon the wealth of knowledge that we are in control of our own happiness. Life is user controlled content . . . you don’t like what is going on right now? Change it. Take some time to unwind and start with your attitude. There is power in saying thank you to those that make each day brighter. 

There will be many kinds of people that you encounter, embrace, walk with and sometimes pass on your way to discovering your path to authentic service and your own happiness, your own joy.

My mother taught me that if you surround yourself with people who like/love you for who you are – and not who they think you should be. . . you will live a rich life.

I consider myself incredibly lucky. I am committed to surrounding myself with people who have a passion for life and respect honesty.

We are the author of our own story.  As we grow into our authentic self it’s up to us to celebrate the change.

If who you are is solely dependent on what others think of you . . . you will never discover your own inner beauty, fierce strength and creative brilliance.

**Suzie, thank you for sharing that quote and reminding me every day to celebrate the joy of life and the happiness of being true to me. :)

—

Who has inspired you lately?

Are you surrounding yourself with people who live authentically?

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About Danielle Hatfield

Owner/Chief Dirt Digger at Experience Farm - DIYs, recipes and sharing my 2 cents on social media

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My Family Tradition : Handmade Heirlooms »

I love to share recipes, DIYs, and my two cents on social media.

I am also proud to be the Chief Dirt Digger at Experience Farm where I have worked with my partner and husband Brandon Pierce since 2009.

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I love #DIYs, #recipes, and sharing my 2 cents on social media.

daniellehatfield
I’ve cut and counted 429 4” fabric squares fro I’ve cut and counted 429 4” fabric squares from  #scrapfabric we bought a few years ago.

Fabric for my #handsewn projects is among my favorite #thriftstorefinds. ❤️

These squares will eventually become a snuggly #quilt for our single occupancy media room that was once a walk-in closet. 

It’s helpful having a small room to relax in and read or watch TV. This colorful fabric will be a warm reminder of the fun treasures @thebrandonpierce and I find when we go #thrifting. 

If #CottageLife has taught me anything, it’s to look at every square foot of space in a new way and I love how we are embracing #smallspaceliving. 

This #handsewing project may take a while - my goal is to have it finished by the fall so I can settle in with my knitting, a good movie or documentary and hot cup of coffee. 

.
#handsewing #handsew #cottagestyle #quiltingismytherapy #sewersgonnasew #sewingismytherapy #sewingproject #handsewnwithlove #thriftedhome #thriftstorefinds
A thoughtful gift from a former neighbor in Greenb A thoughtful gift from a former neighbor in Greenboro! 

She knows I love DIYs and shared a box full of @bertie_county_peanuts bags. 

I look forward to using these in a future DIY that will remind me of our sweet friendship. 🥜❤️

So far my top DIY contenders are: 

- stitch bags together and use them to reupholster a bench and other #burlapdecor 

- use bags as #upcycled shelf liner in our open kitchen cabinets 

- stitch #burlapbags together and make a couple of bolster pillows

🤔 What else could I make with a #burlapbag? Any suggestions are appreciated!
Inspired to paint today thanks to a photo by the i Inspired to paint today thanks to a photo by the incredibly talented Chef @wishartchris of @OldNorthStateWinery in #DowntownMountAiry. 

My #WatercolorPractice of this #DeliciousDessert is from his #ChefsTable and is ~ Grand Marnier-Bittersweet Chocolate Mousse with  Strawberry Soup and Vanilla Tuile. 

This #WatercolorPainting is still a #WorkInProgress and I couldn’t think of a better way to spend a Sunday afternoon. (Thank you for sharing your amazing creations Chris!) 

If you plan to #VisitNC be sure to put #OldNorthStateWinery on the top of your ‘must eat’ list. You won’t be disappointed.
The #hyacinth I transplanted last fall are bloomin The #hyacinth I transplanted last fall are blooming! 😍

It’s been slow going but our little #cottagegarden is coming together and I couldn’t be happier. ❤️

Today I’m looking around the old bee yard for more white #hyacinths to transplant before the rain sets in and our new bees arrive.

Each time I see these flowers I chuckle at the thought of #HyacinthBucket of #KeepingUpAppearances answering the phone... 😂 

“Helloooo the Bouquet residence, Lady of the house speaking.”
Excited to finish this piece thanks to my new @gel Excited to finish this piece thanks to my new @gellyrollph pens @thebrandonpierce ordered for me! 🙌🏻 

What began as a #watercolorpractice is now  officially #mixedmediaart.

This is a study inspired by an illustration by American illustrator #JamesMontgomeryFlagg (June 18, 1877 – May 27, 1960) better known for his ‘I Want You’ Uncle Sam recruitment illustration. 

This is still a #workinprogress and I’m glad I waited for my #gellyrollpens to arrive! They allow me to bring detail to my #watercolorpainting and I’m already making my wishlist of colors I don’t yet have. 

Every time I see this hanging in our kitchen it makes me want to throw on one of my vintage aprons and bake an apple pie. 🥧

I am constantly inspired by artists who came before me. Studying their work helps me to better learn techniques like shading, consistent color mixing and most importantly knowing when to stop. ❤️

#watercolorpainting #dailyart #artstagram #inthekitchen #vintagekitchen 
#ilovegellyrollph #diyart #inspiredby #americanillustrator #mixedmediaart #gelpenart  #watercolorart #watercolorartist #practicemakesprogress #vintageillustration #vintageillustrations
My pockets aren’t deep enough for my disappointm My pockets aren’t deep enough for my disappointment in my new @Dickies. 

When you buy a pair of bibs you *expect* to have pockets that can fit your whole hand. 

My most recent #handsewing project was adding REAL pockets to my Dickies. 

Thankfully my #fabricstash offered up enough to turn my 4” deep pockets to nearly 9” pockets that are actually functional. 🙌🏻

It’s no secret that #womenspockets are a joke.  Is it too much to ask for #pocketequality? 

#alterations #ithaspockets #pocketsewing #handsewn #womenspocketsareuseless #handsew #sewingismytherapy #dickies #womenspocketssuck #pocketsize
A #watercolor in progress inspired by a photo by @ A #watercolor in progress inspired by a photo by @bfullerfoto. 

I researched and found a mint 1959 #Dodge Custom Royal Lancer  hard top for color reference. 

It’s been fun working on this #watercolorpractice - I’m learning more and more about shadows and layering color.  The metal and reflective surfaces are challenging but worth the work. 

I love #classiccars and this is a #watercolorpainting I’m excited to finish. 

Thanks @bfullerfoto for the inspiration! Love your photos.
The #PatchWork #OvenMitts are finished! 🤓 I’ The #PatchWork #OvenMitts are finished! 🤓

I’m so happy that I was able to repurpose @thebrandonpierce Grandmother’s mitts with some of my #FabricStash. ❤️

#handsewnwithlove #handsewn #handsewing #patchworklovers #patchworkdesign #cottagelife #cottagekitchen #sewmuchlove #sewingismytherapy
🧵 My next #handsewn #sewingproject will be reju 🧵 My next #handsewn #sewingproject will be rejuvenating @thebrandonpierce grandmother’s #ovenmitts with a #patchworkquilt look using my #fabricstash. 

I love that they were passed down to us and can’t wait to have them hanging in our #cottagekitchen! 

I’ve never tried #handsewing patchwork on oven mitts before but I have a feeling this #sewingchallenge will be worth it. 🤓

Each time I use them I’ll remember all of the home cooked meals that they helped feed generations of Brandon’s family. ❤️

Sure we could buy new mitts - but I’d rather have these and enjoy the quiet hours spent sewing them remembering a remarkable woman. 

 #sewingismytherapy  #sewinglove #sewmuchlove #handsewnwithlove #handsew #amsewing #sewersgonnasew #sewingfun
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