You, yes you!
STOP RIGHT THERE!
I am an interweb agent.
I’m here to protect you. Just stay calm and put your keyboard where I can see it.
Don’t try to esc. – If I don’t help you . . . someone else will.
Do I have your attention?
Good.
There was a tip that you have been behaving badly on the internet and I need to ask you a few questions . . .
Do you currently or have you ever spammed pages or people with your push marketing message?
Are you sharing too much information about your friends and family’s private lives? What about information about your children?
Do you post comments on friends walls that really should be made private? Trust me a little Facebook Wall etiquette goes a long way.
How about those unflattering pictures of family/friends that you don’t care for? Hhhhm? That’s what I thought.
Have you ever checked in at your child’s School? Home? Work? How about a friends house with out them knowing about it? . . . . better watch that! It’s dangerous out there and there are plenty of thieves that are paying attention to your “look at me” addiction.
Are you a hashtag hijacker? We have received complaints from area residents that you are flooding their towns hashtag with garbage 24/7 and making any real posts relating to the community virtually inaccessible!
Oh, and even if you only hijack any hashtag once . . . it’s still not cool.
Are you harvesting people’s email from Linkedin groups and sending out your email newsletter? How about anyone who gives you a business card? Yeah, that’s not cool. Better read up on the Can-Spam act before you send out any more of those emails.
Du u tlk lk ths on fb & twttr? For the love of all things Merriam-Webster – stop. Text speak is murdering your brand.
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If you have done any or all of these . . . don’t feel bad. You aren’t alone. There are plenty of us out here that have made mistakes (myself included) and thankfully many more who help us see the error of our ways and get us on track!
We do this for the betterment of the community and quite frankly everyone is kinda tired of seeing you make an ass out of yourself. Trust me, I’ve made an ass of myself plenty on my path of learning. Understand that we are here to help.
What was that? I’m sorry I must have mis heard you . . . F*off you say?Your “grass roots” marketing is working just fine? Umm okay buh bye!
For those of you who appreciate it when someone goes out of their way to help you without trying to sell you something. . . who believe in helping each other and paying it forward. . . Keep reading!
I will outline common online offenses and give you helpful links that will (hopefully) change your online habits. Sad to say that you are a danger to your friends and followers and more importantly your brand so listen up!
Regardless of whether you end up with a warning or if it’s your 1st offense . . . heck, even the repeat offenders out there will end up walking with a sentence of educational links for each infraction.
Facebook :: Profiles are for People – Pages are for Businesses
Warning :: I can understand that this whole technology thing has your head spinning . . . and trust me, I know that everyone is doing everything they can to survive this economy – especially if you own your own business.
Trying to navigate Facebook even as a heavy user is confusing as hell. But no fear! There are friends and family ready to help guide you in the right direction . . . and when all else fails – google it.
Your Sentence ::
A Beginner’s Guide To Facebook: Learn The Basics Of Facebook
Facebook 101 Business Guide | Social Media Examiner
1st offender :: I’m going to have to write you a citation. You heard right. This is the second “profile” you have set up for your business instead of a “page”.
And after I shared links to facebook that help guide you how to set up a page too.
I sent those links to facebook terms of use and how to create a facebook page for business because I wanted to help.
Too many of businesses have been closing and I would hate to see one more . . but I just can’t “friend” a business. It’s rewarding your bad behavior and goes against everything I teach others.
Oh, and thanks for the foul language in your message. Was that *really necessary for someone YOU tried to friend twice with a personal profile for your business? . . . Just curious if you treat everyone that tries to help you (and not try to sell you anything) that way.
Oh and by the way . . . you (or your social media ‘guru’) have completely destroyed any desire I had of hiring you to scrub my toilet. :P
Your Sentence ::
Businesses do not make good Facebook friends.: The Social Path
Your Facebook “Friend Requests”: Bad for Business… Annoying to Me!
Repeat offender :: No one “likes” it when your company likes and comments on every post in a 3 county area just so you can ‘get in front of‘ your target market. I don’t care how you try to justify it – everyone knows you reek of disrespect and use shady “Spam King” tactics. Stop it.
Oh, and the fake user profile you set up to also promote your company with comments promoting your business as a “satisfied customer” on other business pages . . . slimy. Let me introduce you to Erika so she can bitch slap your ass.
Your Sentence ::
Facebook Fan Pages for business vs. Personal Profiles for individuals
Linkedin :: Groups Etiquette
Warning :: No worries if you just joined the group – moderators generally cut you some slack when they know you are the new kid on the block. But it IS your responsibility to know what group you are joining and explore the readily available information on the group profile page. Questions? Just ask the owner of the group or a group manager(s). They are always ready to help.
Your Sentence ::
What is LinkedIn? – LinkedIn Learning Center
Groups – LinkedIn Learning Center
100+ Smart Ways to Use LinkedIn « Linked Intelligence
1st offender :: You KNOW You’ve Been Bad Don’t You?
Yes, yes I hear it all the time . . . “everyone else is doing it so why can’t I?” Well, just because someone else pukes their spam message all over the discussion board doesn’t mean you should too. Buck up and carefully consider if that self promotional “discussion” or comment is really adding value to the group.
Oh and your buddy there in the back seat. . . yeah, I’m talkin’ to you. You know the only time I EVER see you in these parts is when you have something to promote or sell. I don’t recall ever seeing you participate in an actual discussion or come to an event and by the way – isn’t that an out of state license you have? Yeah, thought so.
Understand the perils of self promotion.
Your Sentence ::
Groups – LinkedIn Learning Center
25 LinkedIn Etiquette Tips to Ponder
LinkedIn Group Etiquette: What are the Rules?
Promoting Your Business Without Spamming LinkedIn Groups
Repeat offender :: When you join groups just to harvest email addresses for your email newsletter, post self promotional discussions ad nauseum or gather your pitchfork and townspeople to post disrespectful comments on a discussion board just because you got called out for your bad behavior in a group . . . well, lets just say YOU are the reason most people think that Linkedin is the Myspace of the business world. Etiquette is more than what fork you use. . . it’s being respectful of group moderators and the posting guidelines unique to each Linkedin Group.
Your Sentence ::
How to tell if you’re a comments troll – CNN
What constitutes Spam in your opinion | LinkedIn Answers | LinkedIn
How To Fail At Using LinkedIn | A LinkedIn Spam Email Diagnosed
Linkedin group managers are not online 24/7. They rely on other group members to flag those who are not playing by the group’s rules. In order to make the most of Linkedin Groups that are created to truly connect those who have joined – it takes all members (and managers) contributing valuable content, helping enforce the group’s rules such as flagging posts that are self promotional or spammy and engaging with those who take the time to start real discussion.
Blah Blah Blogs :: Blog Vomit vs. Real Interaction
Warning :: Are you just getting your feet wet with blogging? It’s kind of tricky getting into the rhythm of posting, promoting and commenting on your own and other blogs.
Best advice is reading those who are doing it well and emulate the things that make them a success . . . like posting on a regular basis, responding to blog comments, and leaving meaningful comments on others blogs.
Your Sentence ::
How to Blog: Blogging Tips for Beginners
Starting Your First Blog? 29 Tips, Tutorials and Resources for New Bloggers
40 Ways to Deliver Killer Blog Content
Geek to Live: Lifehacker’s guide to weblog comments
1st offender :: So you think you’re clever?
Leaving a blog comment that has absolutely nothing to do with the topic of the blog post but some how leads you to leave a link back to your website . . . yeah. That is just not cool. Clever blog comment spam is still spam.
Oh and if you never talk to the person via other social sites but decide to leave a self promotional comment on a highly trafficked blog post they have written . . . that is opportunistic and a big no-no.
Your Sentence ::
Understand The Reasons Why You Should Not Submit Spam Comments To Other Niche Blogs
Repeat Offender :: You know who you are . . .
-you do key word searches and just because I mention any Apple product in my post you decide to post a comment that lets me know I can get a free ipad with a suspect link.
-you are a troll and post meaningless drivel in hopes of starting an emotional fire so you can sit back and roast your little ego marshmallows. Bravo.
-you add links to your own site via a comment to artificially boost your search engine rankings . . . real clever.
Your Sentence ::
The Bitch Slap: Are You Contributing? | Erika Napoletano is Redhead Writing
Blog Etiquette or Blogtiquette — Tip Junkie
The Trouble with Trolls | Market My Novel
If you have a blog, you understand how important it is to have real people leave engaging comments. This is a great post about The War Against Blog Comment Spam And How To Gain The Upper Hand.
Twitter :: In or Out of My Nest
Dealing with Twitter offenses are quite simple on my tree limb. . . there are no 3 strikes rule here buddy when it comes to spammy behavior.
Typically the first major offense gets you blocked and reported for spam if I have any question about the safety of my nest.
You know the ones I’m talking about . . . “hey, if you love FarmVille you should check this out :-) (insert phishing link here)” I don’t need to learn how to make 10,000 dollars a month from twitter, nor do I care if I just won a free widget. . . or if you think your company has the best widget with a ‘We are giving away a new iPad click here’ link. NO Thank you!
And while we are on the subject . . . sending me an unsolicited @reply to pimp your product/service/brand or a Dumb Auto DM to tell me how be a social media douchebag like you – will bring you front and center to Judge, Jury and Executioner.
Anything else you can do on twitter pales in comparison to outright twitter spam and trolls . . .
Twitter Rehab ::
Twitter Help Center | The Twitter Rules
Twitter 101 for Business — A Special Guide
Top 10 Twitter Blunders – MarketingProfessor.com
No, I Will Not Help Your Business Spam People on Twitter
NOTE :: Now there are plenty of other social networks I have left out. I chose the ones I encounter the most but would *love to hear about your pet peeves on other sites (so when I go there I don’t make an ass of myself!)
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I am taking my cue from @redheadwriting today . . . I’m unfiltered and unashamed.
Am I perfect – no.
Do I claim to be – no.
Do I try to help people – yes.
Do I have more to learn – you betcha.
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Thanks to *everyone who inspired me to write this post.
Regardless of whether you like what I have written or not, the truth is – we are all learning and growing in the social space.
For the record – I am not an expert. . . I am always flattered when others refer to me as one but the truth is – I just spend more time reading about my particular areas of interest – from hand made crafts, web design, cooking, to social marketing and am excited to share what I learn!
I am and will always be a student and will do my best to stay up to date on information that is interesting to me and share something valuable everyday.
We get better by helping each other when we can, and hopefully adding a little humor to the mix. Learning the true value of social media will be different for everyone.
I am still learning where to add my voice and when to listen.
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Offer helpful advice or a link to a great article that helped you?
Want to share a social media pet peeve?
Leave a comment!
